Individual Apple Reviews

Individual Apple Reviews

A fruit blog featuring reviews of individual apples.
Photoset September 18, 2014 • 133,533 notes

That time of year again

(Source: pusheen)

Text September 15, 2014

Today’s Gala Apple

Looks a little weird. I mean, it’s a nice shape and very red. But also has a white color to it. It’s not fuzzy covered with white, so seems ok. Also, the sticker left residue on there. I hate when that happens.

Oh. It is NOT crisp. What’s the fight back, apple? You’re just gonna fall apart when I bite you?

Oh! It’s tasty. Nice and very sweet flavor. And very juicy. All is forgiven.

I rate this apple “How do I like dis apple? I like it very much, thank you” on the Not Honeycrisp scale.

Photo September 11, 2014 • 2 notes
Art of the Day: Van Gogh, Apples, Sept-Oct 1887. Oil on canvas, 46 x 61.5 cm. Van Gogh Museum, Amsterdam.

[via USApples]

Art of the Day: Van Gogh, Apples, Sept-Oct 1887. Oil on canvas, 46 x 61.5 cm. Van Gogh Museum, Amsterdam.

[via USApples]

Text September 11, 2014

Yesteryday’s Envy Apple

Last Envy apple! eep! need to get more apples.

Looks good. Not lopsided! Nicely round. Mostly red, with a bit of a yellow swath over there.

Reasonably crisp! But… oh no. Where’s the flavor?

This is watery. Not juicy. The juice is flavorless. So bland.


I rate this apple “not particularly envious of this weak-flavored Envy apple” on the Not Honeycrisp scale.

Text September 7, 2014 • 1 note

Yesterday’s Envy Apple

Oops. I meant to post this Friday. Then Saturday. So it’s not even yesterday’s anymore. But I’m going to ignore that for titular purposes.

Not as lopsided as the previous apple. And more red! Looks pretty good.

And it is good! Reasonably crisp. Good flavor. Lots of juice.

An apple this good shouldn’t have to wait two days fit a review.

I rate this apple “damn fine” on the Not Honeycrisp scale.

Text September 4, 2014

Today’s Envy Apple

This apple is was lopsided. weird.

Again, very red on one side and yellow on the other. ok…

Reasonable crispness! That’s a promising start. Kinda hard. But hard in a way that’s almost like crisp if you’re not paying attention. and I’m too hungry to pay close attention.

Good juiciness. Flavor is ok. Sweet. Acceptable. But it doesn’t blow me away. I’m just scarfing this apple because I’m hungry and this flavor isn’t wowing me, not drawing my attention from reading articles on the internet. Where’s the wow factor?

I rate this apple “acceptable” on the Not Honeycrisp scale.

Text September 2, 2014

Today’s Envy Apple

Looks good. Very red. Except that big yellow swath.

Ooo. Fairly crisp. Kinda on the hard side, but kinda like crisp.

Flavor is nice, but a little weak. A good sweet flavor. Just a hint of tart.

Very juicy! So much juice! Lots of juice loaded with… mild flavor.

I rate this apple “decent” on the Not Honeycrisp scale.

Photo September 1, 2014 • 3 notes

Text September 1, 2014 • 1 note

I’m eating a banana because I’m out of apples. ugh.

Text August 31, 2014

T.V. apples

I decided to check out Once Upon a Time on the Netflix.

It features this love in an early episode:
“Did you know the Honeycrisp tree is the most vigorous and hearty of all apple trees? It can survive temperatures as low as forty below and keep growing. It can weather any storm.”

Well, those were clearly not honeycrisps. They looked like red delicious, but were probably fake movie apples. Nice effect of the rich red apples.

It looks like apples will be featured prominently in this show. My kind of show!

Also, hi new followers! I don’t knew where you all came from, but welcome! I’m out of apples at the moment, so no reviews until I buy more. If any of you new followers are advertisers with fat checks or publishers of quirky, tumblr-adaptation books with fat checks, you can speed the prices by getting apple money in my pocket. I also accept cash. Inquire within.

Anyway, I doubt Honeycrisp trees are more hardy than other apple trees. It would be surprising as the apple so delicately delicious. I assume it was artistic license, plus the writer may just like honeycrisps (the best apples).

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